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Jackie Chan the handsome and sexy guinea pig!!!!!

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February 4th, 2009

02:43 am: Dear Grandma,

You are SO MEAN!!! I mean first you took me to THE VET which was HORRIBLE, and THEN you let him VIOLATE my SACRED BUTT!!!! AUGHHH!!! But that wasn't enough, you started putting GOOP in my EYES!!! And that GOOP makes the WORLD go MELTY!!! Then you HACKED off my TOENAILS with TORTURE DEVICES!!!!!! And NOW you're CUDDLING me!!!! AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

No love,
Jackie

Current Mood: uncomfortabletraumatized

November 11th, 2008

09:28 pm: Grandma is SOOO MEAN!!!
I don't know why grandma is so mean to me! She keeps catching me and cuddling me!! Yesterday she tried to scratch my chin!! How dare she do such a horrible thing?? Oooooh chin scratches ooooh chin scratches oooh--I'm in a bad mood!!

Mommy keeps stealing my bed and peeing all over my poop collection!! YUCK!! I wish my brother was still living with me! He was so easy to push around!!

One good thing is that Owen keeps getting in my cage and cuddling with me. Owen is a large guinea pig with black stripes. She has weird things connecting her feet to her body, and she has a long stripy thing sticking out of her butt. She also doesn't have proper front teeth. So she's deformed but that's okay, my brother was deformed too. The important thing is that she loves to cuddle, unlike my ICE QUEEN OF A MOM!!! She steals my hay a little bit but NOWHERE near as bad as my mommy! I love Owen! I would give her good loving but she doesn't smell sexy unlike most womens. Oooooh, chin scratches!

One good thing is that grandma keeps giving me special pellets with sauce every day. She says they're to help my back. PLUS she got me fancy beds to poop in!! They're like a cushioned toilet seat, you should really try pooping in a cuddle cup! http://www.cozycavy.com

Anyway, I'm still annoyed so I think I will chatter my teeth at Grandma and bite my blanket a little bit to show everyone how I feel!! Then maybe after I bite my blanket Grandma will bring me my crackarthritis medication--YUM!! And then it will be veggie time!!!

Current Mood: grumpygrumpy

September 8th, 2008

12:20 am: GRANDMA IS MEAN!!!
She keeps taking me to the VET!! There they take pictures of my INSIDES which are all WHITE for some reason!! I always thought my insides would be BROWN like POOP!!! I love poop.

Anyway, here are my insides:
http://www.guinealynx.info/forums/viewtopic.php?p=1406177#1406177

There is also a video of how sexay I am when I walk!! Hubba hubba! Don't you want me? PLEASE WANT ME!!!!!

Here's a picture of me sleeping because I'm soooo tired after that and my back hurts and my legs.


STILL HANDSOME!!! AND SEXY!!!!!!!!

P.S. I DIDN'T MEAN TO BITE YOU HOMEY!!! I GOT CONFUSED BY MOMMY'S WATERMELON HAT!!!

Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: grandma, the vet, my homey

July 28th, 2008

10:31 am: OH BOY!!!
MOMMY'S POOPS TASTE LIKE CANDY BARS!!!!!!!

Current Mood: excitedexcited
Tags: ,

April 14th, 2008

07:54 pm: AUGH!!!!
MY HAPPY ZONE IS NOT SO HAPPY!!!!! IT HURTS!!!!!!! GRANDMA SAYS MOMMY GAVE ME THE CLAP!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS BUT IT HURRRRRTS!!!!!!!!!

Current Mood: soresore

January 4th, 2008

09:18 pm:
In 2008, jackiethewacky resolves to...
Tell my family about butts.
Get back in contact with some old womens.
Take evening classes in suzi.
Give some poop collections to charity.
Put fifty biting ears a month into my savings account.
Backup my sprout regularly.
Get your own New Year's Resolutions:


Okay! These are resolutions I can get right on! So! BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS I LOVE BUTTS OH BOY OH BOY BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS!!!!!!

July 6th, 2007

05:55 pm: GRANDMA'S HURTING ME!!!
Today started off JUST PEACHY...until GRANDMA decided to be MEAN to me!

I had this LUMP on my side which was ANNOYING but it would have been fine if GRANDMA hadn't kept CHECKING ON IT!!! Well TODAY she saw there was a white spot, so she SQUEEZED the lump and WHITE STUFF came out!!! EEEEW!!! It's all GRANDMA'S fault!!!! SOMEHOW!!!!

Anyway the LUMP is ALMOST GONE but SO is my GOOD DAY!!! And GRANDMA was talking about the VET with her GIRLFRIEND!!! I DON'T NEED TO SEE THE VET!!!!!!

Current Mood: sadsad
Tags: ,

July 3rd, 2007

02:14 am: Today was a GOOD day!!!
I ate LOTS OF PELLETS today!!! I would say I ate TOO MANY but there's no such thing. Then I shoveled in a bunch of pieces of YELLOW PEPPER (which PORTIA tried to STEAL!!!) and gobbled down some ROMAINE!!

Current Mood: fullfull
Tags: ,

June 7th, 2007

08:31 am: Grandma, I will never EVER forgive you for cleaning my butt. Ever!!

Oooh, chin scratches...I love chin scratches...mmmm....ooooh....

June 6th, 2007

08:08 am:
So, jackiethewacky, your LiveJournal reveals...



You are... 47% unique
(blame, for example, your interest in waving my butt around)
and 2% herdlike
(partly because you, like everyone else, enjoy sleeping).
When it comes to friends you are normal. In terms of the way you relate to people, you are wary of trusting strangers.

Your writing style (based on a recent public entry) is simplistic.

Your overall weirdness is: 81

(The average level of weirdness is: 27.
You are weirder than 97% of other LJers.)

Find out what your weirdness level is!


What's wrong with waving my butt around??

Current Mood: confusedconfused
Tags:
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