Jackie Chan the handsome and sexy guinea pig!!!!!

02:43 am: Dear Grandma,

You are SO MEAN!!! I mean first you took me to THE VET which was HORRIBLE, and THEN you let him VIOLATE my SACRED BUTT!!!! AUGHHH!!! But that wasn't enough, you started putting GOOP in my EYES!!! And that GOOP makes the WORLD go MELTY!!! Then you HACKED off my TOENAILS with TORTURE DEVICES!!!!!! And NOW you're CUDDLING me!!!! AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

No love,
Jackie

09:28 pm: Grandma is SOOO MEAN!!!
I don't know why grandma is so mean to me! She keeps catching me and cuddling me!! Yesterday she tried to scratch my chin!! How dare she do such a horrible thing?? Oooooh chin scratches ooooh chin scratches oooh--I'm in a bad mood!!

Mommy keeps stealing my bed and peeing all over my poop collection!! YUCK!! I wish my brother was still living with me! He was so easy to push around!!

One good thing is that Owen keeps getting in my cage and cuddling with me. Owen is a large guinea pig with black stripes. She has weird things connecting her feet to her body, and she has a long stripy thing sticking out of her butt. She also doesn't have proper front teeth. So she's deformed but that's okay, my brother was deformed too. The important thing is that she loves to cuddle, unlike my ICE QUEEN OF A MOM!!! She steals my hay a little bit but NOWHERE near as bad as my mommy! I love Owen! I would give her good loving but she doesn't smell sexy unlike most womens. Oooooh, chin scratches!

One good thing is that grandma keeps giving me special pellets with sauce every day. She says they're to help my back. PLUS she got me fancy beds to poop in!! They're like a cushioned toilet seat, you should really try pooping in a cuddle cup! http://www.cozycavy.com

Anyway, I'm still annoyed so I think I will chatter my teeth at Grandma and bite my blanket a little bit to show everyone how I feel!! Then maybe after I bite my blanket Grandma will bring me my crackarthritis medication--YUM!! And then it will be veggie time!!!

12:20 am: GRANDMA IS MEAN!!!
She keeps taking me to the VET!! There they take pictures of my INSIDES which are all WHITE for some reason!! I always thought my insides would be BROWN like POOP!!! I love poop.

Anyway, here are my insides:
http://www.guinealynx.info/forums/viewtopic.php?p=1406177#1406177

There is also a video of how sexay I am when I walk!! Hubba hubba! Don't you want me? PLEASE WANT ME!!!!!

Here's a picture of me sleeping because I'm soooo tired after that and my back hurts and my legs.


STILL HANDSOME!!! AND SEXY!!!!!!!!

P.S. I DIDN'T MEAN TO BITE YOU HOMEY!!! I GOT CONFUSED BY MOMMY'S WATERMELON HAT!!!

10:31 am: OH BOY!!!
MOMMY'S POOPS TASTE LIKE CANDY BARS!!!!!!!

Tags: mommy, poop

07:54 pm: AUGH!!!!
MY HAPPY ZONE IS NOT SO HAPPY!!!!! IT HURTS!!!!!!! GRANDMA SAYS MOMMY GAVE ME THE CLAP!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS BUT IT HURRRRRTS!!!!!!!!!

09:18 pm:

Okay! These are resolutions I can get right on! So! BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS I LOVE BUTTS OH BOY OH BOY BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS!!!!!!

05:55 pm: GRANDMA'S HURTING ME!!!
Today started off JUST PEACHY...until GRANDMA decided to be MEAN to me!

I had this LUMP on my side which was ANNOYING but it would have been fine if GRANDMA hadn't kept CHECKING ON IT!!! Well TODAY she saw there was a white spot, so she SQUEEZED the lump and WHITE STUFF came out!!! EEEEW!!! It's all GRANDMA'S fault!!!! SOMEHOW!!!!

Anyway the LUMP is ALMOST GONE but SO is my GOOD DAY!!! And GRANDMA was talking about the VET with her GIRLFRIEND!!! I DON'T NEED TO SEE THE VET!!!!!!

Tags: grandma, the vet

02:14 am: Today was a GOOD day!!!
I ate LOTS OF PELLETS today!!! I would say I ate TOO MANY but there's no such thing. Then I shoveled in a bunch of pieces of YELLOW PEPPER (which PORTIA tried to STEAL!!!) and gobbled down some ROMAINE!!

Tags: lettuce, pellets

08:31 am: Grandma, I will never EVER forgive you for cleaning my butt. Ever!!

Oooh, chin scratches...I love chin scratches...mmmm....ooooh....

08:08 am: So, jackiethewacky, your LiveJournal reveals...



You are... 47% unique
(blame, for example, your interest in waving my butt around)
and 2% herdlike
(partly because you, like everyone else, enjoy sleeping).
When it comes to friends you are normal. In terms of the way you relate to people, you are wary of trusting strangers.

Your writing style (based on a recent public entry) is simplistic.

Your overall weirdness is: 81

(The average level of weirdness is: 27.
You are weirder than 97% of other LJers.)

Find out what your weirdness level is!

What's wrong with waving my butt around??

Tags: my butt

08:11 pm: Of course Mommy wants me! Why else would she pee in my face with her SEXY GIRL PEE?!?!?

09:23 am: Yesterday was the BEST DAY EVER!!! I got to visit Mommy and Portia for HOURS and Mommy let me sleep in the hay with her!!! OUR BUTTS ALMOST TOUCHED!!!! OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY!!!!!!! I'm almost to THIRD BASE!!! Next she'll let me LICK HER BUTT OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY WOMENS BUTT WOMENS WOMENS BUTT BUTT BUTT!!!!!!!!!

Tags: butt, mommy, portia, womens

09:08 pm:

06:28 pm: A sock?? OH NO!!!
( my xmas stocking )

03:39 pm: My womens are CRAZY!!
Anya has such an attitude problem! My daddy used to complain about Mommy and Cuddles having attitude problems and now I know what he was talking about!!

My girlfriend charlyblue gave me a cuddle cup to sleep under the haybasket in. It was great! But then here comes Anya pushing and shoving me out of the way. Is that fair? She keeps bugging me when I'm trying to eat! And she climbs on top of me, but won't let me hump her!

Also, Grandma is very mean for cleaning my butt!

Tags: anya, grandma, womens

12:36 am: WOMENS!!! Have I ever told you what BEEEYOOOTIFUL womens you are?? WHEEKWHEEKWHEEKBRRRRRRRRRWHEEKWHEEKBRRRRRRRRRRR do you smell my butt? I LOVE YOU ALL!!! wheep wheep WOMENS!!! WOMENS WOMENS WOMENS!!! LOOK!!! OVER HERE!!! IT'S MEEE!!! READY AND WAITING FOR YOU!!!

WOMENS!!!!!!!!!!!!


PLEASE!!!!!!!!!

Tags: womens

12:09 am: I get lots of BATS...how about some BALLS?!?

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
jackiethewacky goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Fabio.
anyaluvsbacon gives you 15 brown root beer-flavoured gummy bats.
cantstopthedawn gives you 16 red tropical-flavoured gummy bats.
cavywench gives you 10 purple grape-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
charlyblue tricks you! You get an eraser.
einstein_pig gives you 10 pink orange-flavoured gummy bats.
eljuno gives you 18 mottled green evil-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
liquidnitrogen gives you 8 purple apple-flavoured gummy bats.
onescaratatime gives you 1 milky white tropical-flavoured gummy bats.
queenraynapiggy gives you 16 yellow evil-flavoured jawbreakers.
suzi_queue gives you 17 white grape-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
jackiethewacky ends up with 111 pieces of candy, and an eraser.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

12:55 pm: Grandma has a JOB!
I'm not sure what good a JOB is other than that maybe she can bring me home lots of CARROT GREENS!!! MY FAVORITE!!!

I'm going to fight this cozy TO THE DEATH!!! Right after I take a nap in it.

06:15 pm: What's a collage?
Grandma said these were pictures of the things I'm interested in.

There's a lot of hay! HAY!!!!!!

( Read more... )

09:24 am: WOMENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guess what I did yesterday! I MOVED IN WITH THE WOMENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY ANYA RAYNA SEPHY OH BOY ASHES RAYNA OH BOY ANYA SEPHY OH BOY RAYNA SEPHY OH BOY ANYA AND ASHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tags: womens