Jackie Chan's Adventures!

In trying to make sweet love to his mommy!

Jackie Chan the handsome and sexy guinea pig!!!!!
I'm a handsome guinea pig, and I'm in love with my mommy, suzi_queue! She's my dream woman and I sing love songs to her all the time! Unfortunately she seems to have fallen out of love with me but I'll win her back with my gigantic novelty oversized testicles! I'm also in love with my stepmommy dontcuddleme! The problem is that they both have bad bladder control and pee in my face when I lick their butts! I also have a human girlfriend, charlyblue!

I live with my brother einstein_pig who needs a lot of cuddling and a bit of humping, so I make sure he gets everything he needs! He also needs someone to help him dispose of all this kale and parsley that gets put into our cage.

I don't like going outside! It's scary out there. I also don't like going to the vet! I also also don't like tomatoes!
adoring mommy, alfalfa, being handsome, being left alone, being terrified, being timid, biting ears, boar cologne, butt, butt fudge, butts, carrots, charly, charly's cup size, chasing my brother, chewing electrical cords, chewing on things, chin scratches, cilantro, cowering, critical care, cuddles, cuddles's butt, cuddling with einstein, cuddling with my brother, eating, eating einstein's poops, eating poops, einstein, einstein's food, einstein's peachypellets, escarole, feeling up charly, finding talismans, flinching, flinging poop, flirting with cuddles, flirting with mommy, getting fed, gigantic novelty oversized poops, gigantic novelty oversized testicles, girl pee, guinea pig pellets, having my balls, having my chin scratched, hay, hay and hay, hay and more hay, hay hay, hay hay and hay, hay hay hay, hay hay hay hay, hay hay hay hay!, hay hay hay!, hay hay!, hay!, hay! hay!, hay! hay! hay!, hay! hay! hay! hay!, hayhayhayhayhayhayhayhayhayhayhayhayhay!, hiding behind my brother, hiding in my hay, hiding in my link-n-lodge, hiding under my shelf, hiding under my towel, hitting the hay, humping, humping einstein, humping my brother, jackie chan, jackie chan adventures, kale, knocking over my house, lack of personal hygiene, licking butts, licking cuddles's butt, licking einstein's butt, licking mommy's butt, licking my brother's butt, licking women's butts, loving my mommy, messing up cell phones, mommy, mommy's butt, my balls, my beautiful poops, my big floppy ears, my brother, my grease gland, my illiteracy, my new cage, my own good looks, my rotten tuna stench, my stinky butt, my stripey face, no butt cleaning, not being picked up, not being touched, not getting belly kisses, not getting peed on, novelty oversized testicles, ogling womens, panic, parsley, peeing, peeing on grandma's clothes, playing with my brother, poop collections, pooping, pooping everywhere, pooping in cozies, pooping in cuddle cups, pooping in einstein's bowl, pooping in grandma's chair, pooping in my house, pooping on grandma's bed, portable butts, preening, puddin, running around in circles, running away, running in the kitchen, running laps, running laps at 8am, scattering poops around, scratching grandma, screaming, sex, sexy women, showing off my balls, sleeping, sleeping in the corner, sleeping in the hay, sleeping on towels, smelling sexy, snuggling with my brother, sprout, staying inside, stealing my brother's food, stealing my brother's poops, strutting, suzi, suzi q, waking people up, waking up my grandmother, wanting to hump mommy, waving my butt around, whining, womens